A Year in Letters
Tracing God's faithfulness
The older I get, the more I see the beauty and grace of time. In the day to dayness of life, it can feel like absolutely nothing is being accomplished. That my whole world is a series of small acts that have no beginning or ending, they are simply always waiting to be done whenever I can get to them.
Life can be exhausting and overwhelming, and motherhood, though wonderful, is humbling in ways you cannot imagine before you are fully immersed in it.
And yet, when I look back on all that has happened over the last year of my life, I am truly in awe of God’s grace and tenderness. And I see that He has been at work, and that the work we have been doing is actually leading to something good and holy. These children are growing, day by day, into the people that God is calling them to be. We are discovering this together. Though I often find myself whispering desperate prayers in the middle of the night because I do not know what is going to happen or what I am supposed to do, time has a way of revealing the goodness and faithfulness of God. The truth that He never leaves us or forsakes us. When I look back through my writing and journals, I can trace his presence like a map, leading us through every unknown, bringing us through every dark valley, wrapping his love and comfort around us, giving us both the faith to walk forward and the assurance that He is able to redeem every misstep. This has been a year of great joy and great sorrow.
I would like to take your hand and show you the faithfulness of God. Would you walk back through some of last year’s letters with me? When I look back, I can see him so clearly.
Sending love,
Mackenzie
A Walk Through 2024
January: Thoughts on pregnancy, motherhood, and surrendering to the beauty of this moment.
February: Thoughts on bringing a baby into the world again.
Standing at the Edge of the World
Well, it is getting real. I just made a list in my journal titled Getting Ready for Baby. Tomorrow, I hope to get into the attic and pull down all the baby things, wash the little clothes, dust off the newborn car seat, pack my hospital bag, and finalize my labor playlist. In …
March: My wrestling with fears of birth.
April: Read-alouds from posts about pregnancy, birth, fear, and trusting God.
May: First thoughts on the death of my father.
Sometimes the Bravest Thing You Can Do Is Get Out of Bed
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is get out of bed, walk into the kitchen, and start a cup of coffee.
June: My husband co-wrote me a love song with a wood thrush. I treasure it.
On a Wing, On a Prayer, On a Song
Two years back, Randy heard a bird singing the same notes over and over in our backyard. He recorded it on his phone, looked it up, and learned it was the song of a wood thrush. Inspired and in awe, he started putting the bird’s little melody into the hook of a song. He played around with it for a while, and then the song kind of fizzled out and I forgo…
July: What I wish people knew about me as the mother of nine children.
Nine Kids and Misunderstood
I think one of the hardest things about living counter-culturally is being constantly misunderstood. I feel this in a lot of areas of my life—homeschooling, the decision not to give our kids smart phones, choosing to live on a modest income so that my husband and I can both be home to raise our children and to do the work we feel called to do, etc. But …
August: Surrendering to the beauty of this moment, without wanting something else
I Can Enjoy This
Sometimes a morning, a day, a week, a year, a life doesn’t turn out like you were expecting. I type this in my office after a morning of interruptions and inconveniences——the broken glass jar of homemade plum jam, the chicken that needed to be cooked before expiring, all the little voices and hands clamoring for my attention, the questions that never st…
September: Wrestling with heartache and loss, looking for God in everything
Momentary Sanctuaries
Life aches. I don’t know any other way to say it. It doesn’t matter how neat and tidy the lines have fallen around you, how padded your bank account, how magazine-ready your house, how perfectly-posed the family photo on your wall, how certain the probability of your dreams coming true. Things will happen, and likely soon, that will cause you to rethink…
October: My husband’s story, God’s redemption, the family photo that almost never was…
My Husband Wasn't Found Dead in the Shower
My husband wasn’t found dead in the shower like he thought he would be. The best plan he had for his life was to end it. He pressed his heart, felt for a pulse, pushed in the knife, and expected to die.
November: A letter to my children
Be As Human as You Can Be
The world is messed up. I know some of you have already figured this out. We are in a war with things unseen, and this world is coming for that beautiful sparkle in your eyes, the wonder that you see in everything, the curiosity that gets you out of bed in the morning. You are my precious treasures. But you are human. And you were born into a broken wor…
December: The question everyone asks me. There isn’t a short answer.
How Do You Do It?
This is one of the questions that total strangers ask me when they learn that my husband and I have nine children. (Right after are they all yours and are you going to have more…)