Scenes from a Funeral
and a prayer from a still-beating heart
Yesterday I sang with my sisters at a funeral. Before the service, we were gathered around the old piano in the fellowship hall, running through a song that was threaded through the memory of all our lives. The piano began to play and our voices wove themselves together, a seamless listening and spreading out toward the empty spaces of sound to fill them with sister harmonies.
Some things are so familiar you don’t even know when or how you ever learned them.
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll…
A sister sang this in her warm and gentle, litlting way while absent-mindedly arranging the scattered hymnals atop the piano. It struck me as tenderly as poetry.
We walked into the sanctuary and took our seats at the front. People were coming in, breathless, sad, loving, hugging, crying, making their way to see someone, smiling, sitting quietly. I watched the way a woman’s hair flew back and away from her beautiful face while she walked down the aisle. I saw the graceful hands of a woman unzipping her coat and placing it in the pew beside her. I saw two men who must have been brothers slip in quietly and seat themselves in perfect synchronization, without speaking.
From where I sat at the front of the church, I saw the brilliant, unabashed beauty of life. The way the bodies work—the arms, the legs, the motion, the ease with which they walk and stand and sit. The way eyes break into laughter or tears. The way hands reach around shoulders. The way words mingle in the air and linger. All these miracles played out before my eyes.
It struck me: we are in the minority. In all the years of history, we are the ones who are now living. The vast majority of all peoples have lived their completed lives and died and have long since gone on into the mystery. But we are here. Our hearts beat. Our eyes scan a crowd or move across the page. Our voices sing.
Life slips away. I am more aware of this human truth than ever. The people that move in the hemispheres of our lives have bodies that will die. I will die. In light of this uncertain certainty, I don’t know what else to do but to anchor myself to God, who holds every secret of eternity. Who promises a world where there is no death or sorrow or pain. Who is making the broken world right again. I look for him in everything. In the sounds of sister harmonies and the words of hymns, and in the quiet rhythms of earthly life. I search for him in my memory, seeing that in the darkest moments of my life, he was there, walking beside me, holding me, speaking hope to my soul.
I search for God in the eyes of those I deeply love. His breath that animates a body. His kindness that works out all of the mysteries of the human soul and spirit and allows us to live together as friends and family.
Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul
Oh, God. For a heart that beats—thank you. For eyes that see, ears that hear, for the ability to taste and touch and savor the beauty of this earthly life, thank you. For the fragrance of eternity that can be sensed just beyond the surface of every moment, for your hope and promise—thank you. Teach me to live my life in peace, in joy, and in loving devotion to you. Amen.
From the family archive:
I feel like I have been saying the same things over and over in different ways for decades. This is a love song I wrote for my husband a few years after we got married. I still mean it. I don’t want to take the love that God has given us for granted.
Paloma’s Journals Have Arrived!
We will be shipping them out this week! If you pre-ordered a journal, thank you! You made this possible!
If you would like to order on of Paloma’s journals, you can purchase one on our family shop page.
Upcoming Events:
Januray 24-25
I will be speaking at a women’s conference for Burnt Hickory Baptist Church in Marietta, GA. You can read about the event and purchase tickets here. Rosie and Paloma will be with me selling their handmade things at the Maker’s Market.
February 7
I am speaking at Due West Methodist Church in Marietta, GA. The theme for the evening is Enter Your Life With Vision. You can register/read more here.
If you would like to inquire about me speaking at your women’s/family event, please send me an email, direct message, or fill out this speaking inquiry on my website. My family and I are also available to lead worship and/or for concerts. If you have a brainstorm, run it by me and let’s see if we can work it out.
If you are still reading this, thank you! I pray that these words are a lighted candle of hope for you today.
And to those of you who bless me here with monthly paid support, please know that you are putting food on my table, changing my life, and making it possible for our family to move towards the dreams and visions in our hearts. I pray that God will return all of this love and kindness back to you.
Love,
Mackenzie
Beautiful and moving.