I appreciate my home more than ever right before I have to leave it. I love people, I love small adventures, I love places that show me new ideas and introduce me to new things. I love a good coffee shop, a walk in the park, a drive through the countryside, the mountains, the incomparable beauty of the ocean… But there is no place on this earth that means more to me than this humble home.
Home is a place that holds you. It keeps all your secret longings. It wraps around your hopes and desires. It gives you time. Time to think and learn and grow. Home is a place of meaningful work and deep soul-rest. It holds your pillowed bed. It holds the dreams in your heart and head.
Your body can slow down here. Your soul can heal and find shelter.
In this home, miracles abound. I see them every day. The ordinary ones that take your breath away—eyes alive with light and color, bodies in motion. Oh, the holy motion of little feet pounding, pens moving across paper, the back and forth of the viola bow. Voices, word, thought, living conversation. Children, always on the verge of a new season. Now walking, now speaking, now reading, now teaching you new ways to live. The beauty of this blessed home that holds us, my life built together with the lives of this man and these children. A structure of the sturdy, solid, grace of God. We are walled in by his love and mercy. The house God makes is living and expansive, with secret rooms that open up over time. There is more space for my soul within than in all the world without.
Dear friends,
I woke up thinking about home for many reasons this morning. First of all, because I am about to leave to have this baby, and am simply aching to get back to all these little people I love and to this house that holds us in our rhythms as soon as possible.
But I have also realized that I really feel at home here, more than ever. This is surprising, because when we had only five children, I felt that we were busting out of the seams of this house. I spent many years feeling restless within these walls. I’ve prayed journals full of prayers about how we could make it work. Now, on the verge of the birth of our ninth child, even though we are living in the same house, I feel that we have more space than we ever have. We have seen so many miracles in this home. The love of God is surprising and expansive. When we come to the end of ourselves, our resources, our own strength, it pleases Him to do more than we could ever think or imagine.
Sending love and a prayer that you will find peace within the walls that God has build around your life. May you see His grace and mercy and feel Him holding you there. May he cover you and shield you and protect you. May you find rest in Him. May His expansive love reach into every part of your life and make a place for you to live with joy and peace. May He bless your life, your family, your home today. Amen.
I hope that when I write to you again, I will be on the other side of this birth and settled back into the place I love most in all the world with our new baby beside me.
Love,
Mackenzie
Flashback from the Blog:
Being Home (Here is a glimpse into life in my home 10 years ago…)
From the Family Archive:
Here is a love song I wrote over a decade ago from our album called, Home. I’m singing and playing piano, with Randy playing guitar, drums, Irish whistle and harmonizing. My favorite lines:
There has only been one key
That could ever unlock me
There has only been one room
I have ever walked into
And knew I was home.
Things That Have Given Me Courage This Week:
I woke up yesterday vaguely remembering the prayer of St. Patrick and looked it up. It moved me to tears when I read it aloud at the breakfast table. I printed it, cut it out, and pasted it in my birth journal. What powerful, comforting words for when you are about to leave home on a journey.
I realized there were many versions of this prayer on Spotify. While I was listening to all of them, I came across this song (and album) which made me feel like friends were cheering me on.
Also, this song that Randy wrote (also on my labor playlist), reminds me that God is my true home. Leaving it with you today for hope and courage.